I haven’t written on this site for many years.  But it seems like there is another chapter in our lives to write about when I say our I mean my family and I.  Before I can write much I need to learn a lot more info and certainly plan on it. Learning you have a long lost sister and you never knew about is a shock and worth writing about.

Our family recently found out we have a long lost sister.  It is shocking and unbelievable at first because you wonder why did my mother never mention this.  But the more I think about it and childhood events the more it makes sense to me. I can understand now why she did and said some of the things she did. I wrote this a long time ago, but it seemed like a good time to put it out here.

Many years ago, I want to say in the late 70’s early 80’s, there was a great deal of discussion among Oprah and other talk shows. That must have been a result of the shift in thinking about child rearing. My mother’s and her mother the motto was, “spare the rod spoil the child.” My mother ruled with an iron fist, no back talking, no questioning “why?” and most definitely no bribery. My father left when I was seven, it broke up what I thought was a great, happy family. I felt secure, safe and our family was not wealthy, but I thought our life was comfortable.

We did have many good times as a family: Indiana Beach annual visits, get together every holiday.  Mom used to love to take rides out in the country sightseeing.  And I love her very much, do I wish my life had been more stable, secure and nurturing but it is what it is.  I always wonder if I had had a different kind of childhood would my life be better now, would I have been more successful?  These questions are a waste of time and energy because there no answers and the past cannot be changed.

So, I guess that explains why I read about abandonment issues, physical and emotional abuse. My point in writing on this topic isn’t to lay blame on either parent but to raise awareness of how the child suffers through a divorce and/or abuse. I do believe a single parent can raise a child to be a healthy emotional adult. To do so, the parent must be willing to put their child’s emotional and physical needs before their own. In doing so they if they do not involve a therapist, then read and gain knowledge to understand what your child is experiencing and will in the future as well.